#(and i don't blame anyone because it's way too long XD)

[lazzarella]

It's now been six months since I started my journey into Asian BL series*, and there's nothing I like more than making lists and procrastinating (with a dash of navel gazing), so I'm here to ramble a bit haha (okay this got really long 😅)

*I did realise later that I had watched the movie cut of Wish You some time back, but I'm not counting it :P

I posted an overall top 10 when I hit 40, I think, but here's my updated version:

1. My Personal Weatherman and Moonlight Chicken tied for first place :P

2. KinnPorsche

3. Cherry Magic (Thailand)

4. Wandee Goodday

5. Boys Be Brave!

6. Old Fashion Cupcake

7. A Tale Of Thousand Stars

8. Cherry Magic (Japan)

9. We Are

10. Only Friends and Jack O' Frost tied for 10th place because I can't decide

Now for the navel gazing:

So, I had heard of some of these shows for a while, but I was dumb and couldn't figure out how to watch them XD then, someone on Reddit asked for recs for gay period dramas, and another person recommended I Feel You Linger in the Air to them (I still haven't finished this) and that sent me down a rabbit hole, which eventually led to me watching Moonlight Chicken at the end of January. I was super anxious and depressed at the time (compared to my usual levels of depression and anxiety) and it was exactly the balm I needed! And then I proceeded to watch 49 more shows in the following six months lmao

Also, as much as I sometimes love a sad love story, I was getting frustrated that so many queer romance movies were ending with the main couple apart—maybe everyone wants to make their own version of Weekend, I don’t know haha (Sidenote: I swear there were more HEA in 90s/00s queer films but maybe that was selection bias) Like, don't get me wrong, they're basically all made by queer creators, and I don't want to police what they make (I have a whole rant about this, but I'll save it for another day...or my drafts lol) But as a rom-com lover I was getting bored of watching the same 10 movies/shows over and over for my HEA lmao so, delving into Asian BL series where the majority seem to have happy endings??? Omg, it's been HEAVEN!

As far as adjusting, there wasn't really much to do. I only note this, because a few people I've chatted to elsewhere seemed to treat it like I was delving into completely new territory or something??

Anything that isn't just your standard rom-com or romance trope, I was probably familiar with due to many years in transformative fandom. And the things I wasn't familiar with were mostly cultural things (which I'm still learning about) or different stylistic choices (like the sound effects, which I love). The fandom culture, though, has been a little more of an adjustment, especially the fan service and fixed couples (I think this is a super cute idea, tbh—it feels like watching the gay Fred and Ginger or Myrna Loy and William Powell et al, you know? By the by, Loy and Powell made 13 films together!)

I think overall I'm more drawn to Thai series, but the Japanese ones, when they hit emotionally, they hit like nothing else. Like nothing I've ever watched really. I think it's the way they do longing and yearning combined with feelings of low self worth that's just sooooooo good and delicious to me. But, yeah, there's something about the Thai series that I'm really drawn to! I've started watching more Thai movies in general and listening to Thai music and, I don't know, I enjoy it all. I still need to delve into Taiwan and other countries, though

I've had so much fun with the series I've watched and learning little bits of different cultures and I'm excited to keep going and make my way through my intimidatingly long watchlist lol It's been hard not to let other people's opinions get me down, though—I've felt less embarrassed about enjoying rom coms on Letterboxd than I have since poking my head into BL spaces, but... I don't think I'll dwell on that XD

Anyway, here are all of the series I've watched ranked by country under the cut(an idea I borrowed from @/dramalets)

Thailand (average rating: 8.4)

1. Moonlight Chicken

2. KinnPorsche

3. Cherry Magic

4. Wandee Goodday

5. A Tale of Thousand Stars

6. Only Friends

7. We Are

8. Cupid's Last Wish

9. Manner of Death

10. Laws of Attraction

11. Vice Versa

12. Last Twilight

13. Enchanté

14. A Boss and a Babe

15. Lovely Writer

16. The Sign

17. Hidden Agenda

18. Bad Buddy

19. Not Me

20. Theory of Love

21. To Be Continued

22. Sky In Your Heart

Japan (average rating: 8.2)

(Using the English titles)

1. My Personal Weatherman

2. Old Fashion Cupcake

3. What Did You Eat Yesterday?

4. Jack O' Frost

5. Cherry Magic etc

6. My Beautiful Man

7. Love is Better the Second Time Around

8. Ossan's Love

9. Perfect Propose

10. My Love Mix-Up

11. Candy Color Paradox

12. I Cannot Reach You

13. Mr Unlucky Has No Choice But to Kiss

South Korea (average rating: 7.6)

1. Boys Be Brave

2. Blueming

3. Semantic Error

4. Love for Love's Sake

5. Choco Milk Shake

6. The New Employee

7. Love Tractor

8. Our Dating Sim

9. Bon Appetit

10. Roommates of Poongduck 304

11. The Director Who Buys Me Dinner

12. Love Class

13. Cherry Blossoms After Winter

14. Kissable Lips

And I'm currently watching:

Love Sea; Meet You at the Blossom; Only Boo!; The Trainee; This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans

[feyunir]

One thing I love about Dragon Age is how much you can learn about your companions by paying attention to their facial expressions and body language.

So I have taken a closer look at Emmrich. Most of my impressions of him will be from before the 16th September, as I have largely been avoiding spoilers since then.

As far as I can tell he has 3 character models. High, medium and low polygon count. Not important, but I think they look slightly different so I thought it was interesting as it might affect his expressions.

Let's take a look at his "Victory pose" as I'm calling it. Usually shown when he is out in the field. He looks confident, and gives the impression he enjoys being out and about. Fighting with confidence. I think he loves magic.

Next, in conversation with all the companions. He seems happy. Give the impression he is having fun figuring out their current dilemma. His scholar is showing. Let's call this his "scholar pose" lol. Even when wearing his resting b***h face he is clearly paying attention, looking at whoever is talking. His posture is open and friendly, exposing his chest and not crossing his legs.

Alone with Rook however we see a different side of him. He has long periods of time when he isn't looking at Rook at all. Coming of as a little reserved. He has his arms resting crossed in the front. Politely present, but respectfully distant. I call this his "Funeral priest pose". I have been to way too many funerals lately and that's generally how the priest was standing. Maybe they always stand like that, but I don't go to church so I wouldn't know.

Judging by how empty the shelves in the back of the clip is, he hasn't been at the Lighthouse long.

Another thing that I noticed was when Rook says "A Watcher's work is never done", he looks sad? At first I thought he is sad because of the never ending stream of death, but then it occurred to me maybe it could be taken more literal. As in, once a Watcher, always a Watcher? Once a Watcher dies, their body/skeleton is being put back to work? We know from The Flame Eternal that Emmrich thinks it would be romantic to be buried with the one you love. Maybe he is sad because he knows that even if he found that someone, being buried with them is something he can't have as long as he is a Watcher. Just a thought.

Next is his "Nope pose". I'm not sure what to make of this one lol. The game clearly has NPC - player head tracking. Emmrich is turning his head and looking at the approaching Rook. Only to do an extreme NOPE turn when they come within talking distance. I'm willing to blame game mechanic on this one, but even then he is a bit strange. He is just standing there to the left of the fireplace, clearly not warming himself. Just standing there looking up at the roof. If anyone have any thoughts on this one I'd like to hear them xD

From his V&V episode we know he is very kind and polite. Probably to the point he became a bit naive and easy to take advantage of. A friend of mine said he came across as potentially having mild Autism. Interesting thought, and I can see where they're coming from, but I don't like slapping labels on ppl so I'm going to leave it in the theory box. All in all he seems confident in his choice of work field, fighting/magic/scholarly, but a bit distant or reserved when in one on one situations.

[iamamythologicalcreature]

What the WIP Wednesday am I doing?

Okay, sooo apparently everyone is doing WIP Wednesday, today. (Okay maybe not the entire internet, but you know, there's a lot of wipsday action, today.) I thought, "Okay. Sure. I can get lost in this crowd. It's a good crowd."

So, I say to @alexalexinii, @monbons, @prettygoododds, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @mooncello,

@blackberrysummerblog, @fiend-for-culture, @shrekgogurt, @bookish-bogwitch, @noblecorgi,

@drowninginships, and @artsyunderstudy (who is the devil on my shoulder today apparently XD)... You are all to blame for this. Yup. Your fault. Peer pressure! (Thank you for tagging me though, I look forward to seeing what all you have happening in your creative minds. <3)

Cause. Well. I don't usually post art in progress. I'm far too anxious a person to do such a thing. It's fine if it's a sketch that's like... finished as a sketch. But in progress? *gulp*

Well, here goes.

This is what I've been working on, usually when I'm supposed to be working on something else:

Mermay!

(sorry for the low contrast, my eyes are delicate orbs that shy away from bright light...)

I did three sketches. One of which I will endeavor to color and make all nice and pretty. I've already determined it's not going to be the first one. The other two are neck-and-neck and it will likely come down to who has fins I like better. Which will it be? Tender snowbaz or playful snowbaz?

(Either way, I'm very determined to give Simon mermay wings. So that's going to happen come hell or... high water... *ahem*)

Honestly, I just really love merpeople. I'm surprised it's taken me this long to attempt this. The very first thing I ever learned to draw as a little bittle babe was a mermaid. (My teachers did not appreciate my dedication to anatomical accuracy the way I did.) Soooo Mermay? Mermay is a THING? Well, twist my arm, guess I have to snowbaz it.

(Oh, and shoutout to another guilty party, the SSCoNE server. They put the idea in my head. OH, and @cutestkilla. For general encouragment. And @hushed-chorus. For general encouragment and writing a gorgeous fic with merman Baz in it. )

Even more tagged people under the cut:

HELLO OUT THERE! @rimeswithpurple @run-for-chamo-miles @youarenevertooold @whatevertheweather @that-disabled-princess

@arthurkko @raenestee @facewithoutheart @emeryhall @agni-ashes

@skeedelvee @thewholelemon @supercutedinosaurs @tender-ministrations @bazzybelle

@ic3-que3n @imagineacoolusername @valeffelees @roomwithanopenfire @ileadacharmedlife

@aristocratic-otter @best--dress @technetiumai @brilla-brilla-estrellita @onepintobean

@palimpsessed and anyone else who wants to join in/say hi.

(I love getting tagged, because I tend to miss out on things if I don't get it stuffed into my notifications. Feel free to hit me up on Discord, too, send links. I just can't often browse tumblr as I wish. Not if I want to draw and... read... I need to do some reading...)

*Pitch Manor is still happening, I'm just taking a break to draw fish boys in between doing a few too many other things. I like being busy.

[pikahlua]

I was wondering your thoughts on my misgivings with the reveal that AFO meddled in Tenko’s life from birth. I’ve been struggling to understand this direction for the story for a long time because it implicates AFO too much. He made Kotarou abuse Tenko, he made Nao give birth to Tenko, he goaded Tenko’s friends to play heroes with him, he put Tenko in the perfect spot to kill those thugs…at this point you can’t even blame anyone else but AFO for how Tenko turned out. I’m really bothered by this because it dampens the whole bystander effect of Tenko’s arc for me. The only way I can see this making sense is if AFO is somehow exaggerating or acting as an unreliable narrator somehow, but I’m not banking on that happening. Please can you help me? Is there some Japanese context I’m missing or something?

Okay well first of all I think you're thinking about this a little too black-and-white. AFO didn't *make* Kotarou abuse Tenko, he encouraged Kotarou's strict mentality indirectly. He certainly didn't MAKE Nao birth Tenko XD The whole point of that reveal was that he said he couldn't do anything too obvious, it all had to be subtle nudges. It was manipulation, but it wasn't coercion. Those characters still had some agency in what occurred, even though all people are influenced by others, they just didn't realize one of the people influencing them had ulterior, nefarious motives.

"at this point you can’t even blame anyone else but AFO for how Tenko turned out" see the thing about this is, Tenko himself BELIEVED he was born this way, not that anyone else was to blame for how he turned out. THAT'S the thing that just got turned on its head. AFO is saying "You weren't born this way, this is how *I* made you. This wasn't random chance at all. You don't have free will, you never made a choice to begin with. I just let you think that."

As far as Japanese context goes, the Japanese are much more communalistic. People have some pretty heavy social pressures. AFO used that social pressure dynamic to influence Tenko's family. There is this concept in Japan called giri which is a social obligation. What sort of giri you owe to others plays a big role in how you behave and whose advice you take and such. It's all predicated on the idea that everyone in this system has good intentions, and AFO as someone who has BAD intentions could exploit that system.

There's only so much we can take away from this right now. Tenko will surely show up with a new conclusion about all this once he's had time to contemplate this revelation. Or maybe Izuku will have an answer to AFO ("Tenko isn't you!") We just have to wait and see.

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

I just thought a dumb hc because I have insomnia and Tokyo Revengers is my roman empire.

Hear me out: I was thinking, what if Manila Izana (after Mikey dies) talked to Bonten Mikey?

(look at them, they are deffinitly not okay! 😭)

They need each other for comfort! I guess I don't need to explain why Bonten Mikey needs to have a sibling alive, right? I always hc that Manila Izana actually loved Mikey. In a twisted way mixed with guilt and jealousy, but I'm sure he loved Mikey.

How couldn't he? When Mikey probably opened to him after Emma's death. It's canon that he was always happy to have more family. I can imagine him completly broken, unable to sleep. Calling Izana on the phone, long night talks. This Mikey trusted Izana more than he trusted Draken, I'm sure Izana comforted him after what happened to Emma (ouch, ouch and ouch). While Draken pushed Mikey away (not judging, just saying that Izana used this for his own purpose).

Manila Izana, looked at this young Manila Mikey that trusted him, that loved him like an older brother even if they just met...And he hated himself for this, because he was liying to him. About Emma, about them being siblings (he never told him what Karen said, scared of losing him). He was doing the same thing that Shinichiro did to him: liying about being brothers, pretending to be a good big brother when he isn't (this is Izana's mind, not my personal opinion on Shin, he did what he could for his age and well, being our dear reckles Shin xD)

So... Izana hated himself but he loved Mikey. He lied to himself about it too, 100% sure. He kept telling to everyone, to Kakucho, to Kisaki, that he's only using Manila Mikey. Sano siblings doing denial? That's also canon!

But after Manila Mikey dies, he lost it. He looked like he was spiraling when Naoto and Takemichi died, tbh. He realized how much he loved Mikey after losing him. And he lost his brother. Again. He's freaking spiraling.

Exactly with this Izana at this point, is where I hc this, because I need healing for coping! (so yes, that means Izana had to touch rock bottom for being open to healing first,I'm so sorry 😔)

Bonten Mikey telling to Izana that he loved him, even after knowing about Emma, knowing everything... He loved him. Izana has being death for more than a decade and this Mikey stills loves him.

Oh, and Izana's reaction finding out how he died? Finding out his friends. No, his family... Did that memorandum to him that was Bonten? That Kakucho had the hanafuda where his heart was? Izana is uggly sobbing at this point, we all know it.

Manila Izana telling to Bonten Mikey that he loves him? That he feels guilty for what he did? For killing Emma? For being a bad older brother with Manila Mikey? (He feels guilty as fuck, specially if he found out at some point that Manila Mikey wanted to die) Izana loves him and wants to be a better brother this time? Hell yeah, Mikey is also crying because he has family again! (and I'm ignoring some minor things like curses, this is happening in a neutral and cursed-cleaned space in my mind)

Edit: I think Bonten Mikey would help to Manila Izana with his guilt. Because he blames himself for the way Mikey ended and seeing that Bonten Mikey it's also broken and even less there... Well, not saying Izana didn't have responsability on Manila Mikey, but he would see that it wasn't only him.

That made me imaging Izana saying "Wtf happened in your timeline for you to end like this?" And I just laughed for not crying because... Well, Tenjiku happened and we're all living it 😭

Since curses and time-leaping exists, my new headcanon is that this two talked in dreams, or something. I don't know, time magic or some angsty cursed connection. I don't understand the logic, I'm not trying to understand it. I just need to think that some nights, this two comforted each other in dreams. 🥹🥹

@just-sp-in-inginthevoid feel absolutely and completly free to add to this brain riot. Anyone else is more than welcome to add to, please.

[sevi007]

Tales of the abyss part 22

Iiii... don't really understand what's going on? Did Asch take Luke's consciousness into his body and is now carrying it around next to his own? Is that it? Oh shoot we can control Asch now. And he seems strong!

While I agree that Luke probably would not have listened, this still reminds me that nobody ever tried to tell him stuff or what to look out for or to be wary off and is now blaming him from acting on what little he knew .

Which, based on the fact that he IS a replica and HAS only the memories and knowledge of seven years worth, seven years filled with Van's lies, is not a lot.

I was going to say I'm surprised how at EASE everyone is with the fact that Asch is now their ally and Luke is knocked out, but hey, at least Guy is a little suspicious.

Ugh, Asch is almost as impatient as Luke. I wanted to know what they are watching, too XD

So Van is not a "random destruction" kind of villain. not that I believed that - his actions took too long and were too carefully planned. Is he trying to send everything back down from the earth's crust down to the Qliphoth? But that seems pointless. And the replica don't really factor into that.

Alright, three things - first of, Guy is right. Asch states that this whole being pushed up safely by the sephiroth was but a theory, so Guy pointing out they might have died is not entirely unfounded. I cannot tell what tone he took because the skits are sadly not voice, but the facts are correct.

Second, Guy really is rather snappish with Asch, in a way he was not with Luke, which is interesting. He could just be distrustful, yes, but this coupled with the way Guy pointed out "I'm glad you're you" to Luke makes me think Guy and Asch do not exactly have a good history with each other.

And third, in stark contrast to two, Natalia is rather more lenient with Asch than she was with Luke. Maybe because Asch is more like the "Luke" she remembers from before the kidnapping? Which is a little sad to see because while Asch is more level-headed than Luke, he is also not the friendliest and issues order like the general he is - something which bothered Natalia before, and now does not.

(Agh can't move before the next skit comes in XD )

HECK YEAH Guy is getting it! That's exactly what I've been saying! In light of Luke being confirmedly a replica with no prior memories now, it just means that the past seven years this was the way he has been raised. Nobody ever put a stop to him, or bothered to teach him social niceties or the proper behavior for a duke's son or whatever else. I don't think they even much taught him to behave properly like a person at all. Now going "huh he was terrible" with no regards to how the party, the duke's household, or literally anyone else (Van for example) has been acting around Luke is just not fair to him at all. And yes - he WILL feel like he was abandoned, because he can literally see that everyone decided to follow Asch rather than stick around til he woke up. I have - besides Guy - not even seen someone asking after him since he fell unconscious.

And what an odd question of "who to support" - just support both. Do what you need to do, then double back and regroup with Luke, or at least check up on him from time to time if the world-saving trip is keeping you busy.

It's not like you have to REPLACE either Asch or Luke with the other, but I feel like that's what part of the group seems to think right now.

@magicmetslogic

@ahsokaisawesome

[egg-emperor]

I was thinking (my thoughts get a lil morbid at times), given that Eggman is shown to STILL be salty about Maria's death stealing attention from him over 50 years ago, Do you think it's possible that he takes a moment to mentally gloat over maria's death and be smug about how he's still alive and she's worm food (and proclaim himself the superior Robotnik)?

Like would he look down on her for being "stupid" for not ditching Shadow to save her own ass and for being "weak" because she died from a single dinky little bullet, while he has survived things that would have killed an ordinary man 10 times over , multiple times?

Yours and mine both lol you know you've come to right place here 🤝

I mean Eggman is canonically so horrible, self-centered, and selfish that he feels resentment towards his dead 12 year old cousin and felt jealous when people talked about her because it wasn't all about him like he thinks it always should be. And even decades later as an adult, he didn't grow out of it and think "that was wrong, she was an innocent soul who was killed in a terrible way and people talked about her because she was a nice sweet girl and I was just bring a bratty kid demanding attention" like others would. He has held onto it to this day and it suits him very well for how horrible and selfish he is, how he has low empathy, and how he's a manchild.

So I can definitely see him having the most twisted thought process to make himself feel better on the occasion she crosses his mind. Like when he feels that bitterness seeping in and gets agitated again, he turns his nose up and scoffs and grumbles nasty stuff like "Some great, strong, brave girl she was when she died to a measly bullet, pfft" and "If she's so great, why is she long gone while I'm the one still here, accomplishing amazing things and on my way to victory and ruling my glorious empire?" and mentally lists all the amazing things he's done that she never came close to and things he's survived that would've killed a normal man a hundred times over.

I also like the idea that he'd judge like "She really died so he could be saved, what a pathetic waste of life. When I rescued Shadow with a robot when he fell to earth, it was because I was going to make good use of him as a weapon/tool and use him as the blueprint for my androids!" instead of just doing it as some foolish selfless act that ends up getting him killed like she did instead of saving herself! Because he really can't understand doing anything for anyone ever if it won't benefit himself by appealing to his own selfish desires in any way. And it's another way he can blame her and feel like he would've made the better smarter choice.

And because he acts like it was so easy to wipe out GUN himself and like they're just nothing and so pathetic compared to him like I mention in my next post, I can imagine him acting like being killed by GUN of all things is such a skill issue because they're so weak and pathetic too, as yet another way to have a one up over Maria. And yes, by saying that he'd actually also be insulting his grandfather and idol in the process, whether it comes to his mind or not. But with the way he also called Shadow the "so called" Ultimate Life Form and literally just dissed him and his creation like that in the very same TailsTube ep, I don't think that would exactly concern him lol

These are all the things that come to his mind whenever she crosses his mind and gets him grumpy, it will soon put a big proud cheeky smirk on his face and cheer him right back up again. He won't hesitate to put anyone down in any way he can to affirm that he's the superior, even in the absolute sickest of ways like that! That's golden, he's so nasty XD 💜

[theangrypomeranian]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤

I'm sorry this is so late orz life has been pretty crazy this past week lol.

Baby Steps

Summary:

After going through a terrible break up, Tina is left trying to pick up the broken pieces of her heart and life. Luckily, Zeke is there to help her with his tried and true method: touch therapy (literally). Through many trials and tribulations, they slowly learn how to grow and move on...together. A story of healing, friendship, and falling in love.

i doubt anyone is surprised by this choice lol. this fic is my pride and joy, i worked on it for a year and kept up a consistent update schedule for it. it's a story that is very near and dear to my heart and helped me start to heal my inner teenager.

2. i hate accidents (except when we went from friends to this)

Summary:

Best friends Louise and Rudy get married for tax purposes. No, really, that's totally it, honest. No way are any actual feelings gonna form. No way... ...unless...?

the fic i wrote for Roudise week 2023. this story was SO MUCH FUN to write omg. the whole premise started as a joke between my beta reader Red and I about these two getting married for taxes and the prompts for the week were announced i knew i had to use the idea. it was a huge hit with the Roudise side of the fandom and i'm so glad that they all loved it so much.

3. Safe and Sound

Summary:

When Tina Belcher is reaped for the Hunger Games, she's sure that her life is over. But when Zeke Tisdale volunteers as the male tribute and promises to protect her in the arena, she realizes that she might have a chance of surviving this...if she can avoid falling for him.

the Hunger Games AU i wrote for Zekina week 2023. as most of my followers probably know by now, i freaking LOVE the Hunger Games series, both the movies and the books (though I lean a lil more towards the books lol). the prompts for the week immediately made me think of it, and since i'd already had the first 2k or so words typed out already i figured why not finish it for the week? it was also written as the week went on because it was a last minute decision lol.

4. Long Way Home

Summary:

After Zeke leaves for three months to work for a logging company in Alaska, Tina receives a call telling her that he passed away in an avalanche. Devastated but determined to stay strong for her loved ones, she must learn how to live without the one that got away. ...or does she? Because unknown to all, Zeke survived - and he is fighting with the Last Frontier to get back home.

my current WIP. this one started as a weird ass dream i had about my otp and i told Red about it, then she proceeded to pitch a reworking of it for a fic and i was instantly in love with the concept. it's very niche so i don't blame anyone for giving it a pass, but i love it and that's all that matters. and for the fifth rec i'm putting down two because i genuinely cannot choose between them (and since when do i ever follows the rules for these kinds of asks XD):

Meet Me in the Afterglow

Summary:

Three months after she's peer pressured into breaking up with Henry, Susmita gets a call that her grandmother has died. Henry offers to take her home for the funeral and she quickly realizes that she's made a huge mistake. Can she sort through her feelings and win back her man? Or is it too late for them?

i LOVE this fic. normally i hate break up fics but i worked very hard on this one and did SO MUCH RESEARCH for it. overall i think i did really good with it and i'm always thrilled when someone reads it.

you better leave (it's not safe in here)

Summary:

Tina lives an idealistic life in the small community of Victory. Every day is the same, structured, secure. All of her neighbors know and like her, and her husband Jordan is a quiet unassuming man who works hard so that she can stay home and be a good housewife. Life is good and peaceful. However, sometimes she can't help but feel as if she doesn't belong there, and her nightly dreams of a tall and handsome man with an accent make her question if her marriage is really as happy as she's been led to believe. But then strange things start to happen and Tina starts to wonder if something more sinister is going on in Victory...

the Don't Worry Darling AU that no one asked for lmao. i was so let down by the movie but still loved the concept, so i decided to use it for a fic and loved the end result. just like with LWH, this one is very niche so i understand why it's not more popular. but i really love this fic and hope that one day it gets the recognition it deserves.

[authoralexharvey]

INTERVIEW WITH A WRITEBLR — @waysofink

Who You Are:

El || They/them

I'm a creative writing graduate from Poland. A slavic witch, a solarpunk & an overall creative & crafty goblin. I write fantasy, mystery and lately I've been dabbling in horror. Nowadays also an avid audio drama enthusiast!

What You Write:

What genres do you write in? What age ranges do you write for?

Fanfic, Fantasy, Horror, Mystery, Poetry, Sci-Fi. New Adult and Adult

What genre would you write in for the rest of your life, if you could? What about that genre appeals to you?

It's a split between fantasy and mystery. I feel like I like writing a story that is both. Can't live without dragons, but would also like to shroud the dragons in some mist, make them not so obvious in their dragon ways. Fantasy appeals to me so much because we can mold the aesthetics that acompany a setting we create and make them mean something, be a message, a metaphore, an echo of something from our world. I find that very cool. Mystery however sticks out to me, because secrets are enticing and I feel like many of us can relate to that feeling of "just wanting to KNOW". It's a good itch to adventure, following a lead of a mystery, it draws you right in and allows to explore puzzles of life.

What genre/s will you not write unless you HAVE to? What about that genre turns you off?

Romance. Simply because I am greyromantic and I honestly could not write a convincing plot that only revolves around a romantic relationship. I do write romance in my stories, don't get me wrong, but they are usually a subplot amongst the rest of the story.

Who is your target audience? Do you think anyone outside of that would get anything out of your works?

My fellow queer people, my fellow anarchist and socialist people, my fellow neurodivergent people, my fellow nerds. I don't think a straight white capitalist man who hates science and D&D would like my writing very much 😂

What kind of themes do you tend to focus on? What kinds of tropes? What about them appeals to you?

Recently I've been focusing on the theme of change. I can't say I have a library of themes I reach for, but I'm pretty sure that one has always been quite universal in my stories. When it comes to tropes I like a lot of the popular ones - grumpy/sunshine in relationships, magic as extension of the self and tool for self-discovery. I write a lot of ensambles, I recently notices. So I like the trope of a community fighting, learning and growing together. Kind if should have see that coming.

What themes or tropes can you not stand? What about them turn you off?

The Born Sexy Yesterday trope. Its the misogyny, your honour.

What are you currently working on? How long have you been working on it?

I'm currently writing an audio drama! Been working on it for maybe 2 months now? I just finished writing episode 1, I am quite proud of that :D

Why do you write? What keeps you writing?

It almost seems like I was born a storyteller and I have to write, because I have too many stories in my head. It might be the adhd tho, I don't know xD.

How long have you been writing? What do you think first drew you to it?

I've been writing since I was 12, but I was a storyteller well before that. My mom used to say I was making up characters as soon as I could talk. I know she wasn’t literal, but I'd like to think my first sentance was a story about a duck.

Where do you get your inspiration from? Is that how you got your inspiration for your current project? If not, where did the inspiration come from?

Inspiration is everywhere, but my main destillery of scene & story ideas is music. I'm sure many writers can relate to envisioning scenes or scenarios in their head while listening to a particularly brain-sceatching song. My current peoject is a combination of that and my discovery of a different medium through which i can tell stories - podcast. Blame Rusty Quill shows and many others for what I'm about to put out into the world. It's all their fault.

What work of yours are you most proud of? Why?

Ask me in a year, maybe my answer will be "this audio drama I wrote and produced!". For now, I am only proud of having many, many fun & cool ideas I haven't finished yet 😅

Have you published anything? Do you want to?

I haven't publish anything finished, not really. I hope to do it this time. 🤞

What part of the publishing process most appeals to you? What part least appeals to you?

The thrill of a finished project seems appealing, but I wouldn't know. The closest I got was publishing a fanfic on ao3. Getting kudos, getting positive feedback tho… that's quite a nice feeling. Least appealing would probably be marketing. I hate it, I don't know how to promote my stuff and that is probably why a lot of my projects end up unfinished - the lack of interest doesn't help the dopamine flow. And talking to people and promoting yourself is hard.

What part of the writing process most appeals to you? What part is least appealing?

Coming up with ideas, worldbuilding and shaping up the characters. That's the best. Worst would be the process of actually wrangling your ideas into a cohesive plot and putting them down on a page. A nightmare, truly a nightmare.

Do you have a writing process? Do you have an ideal setup? Do you write in pure chaos? Talk about your process a bit.

I work in spurts of energy, driven by dopamine, seratonin or spite. I'm a chaos incarnate and I am constantly ashamed of it, but I also love it and stand by my brain's ways. The vibes just gott be right. The music might help, or might not. Sometimes I just have to sit down and hype my story up to myself to write it - moodboards, playlists, all that jazz. And sometimes I simply sit down and hyperfixate on writing and voila - one chapter in a day.

Your Thoughts on Writeblr:

How long have you been a writeblr? What inspired you to join the community?

6 years it seems. I joined looking for likeminded folks, in search of stories and community. I did find a lot of good here, but I also learned how my brain can get really oversaturated with long posts and long conversations, so. I've been less active for the last 2 years for sure.

Shout out some of your favorite writeblrs. How did you find them and what made you want to follow them?

@drabbleitout is one of my favourite writers on here, I love their style & the way they write their androids. The wonderful @zonnemaagd (please verify that @, I am not sure if I spelled this right.) who enchants me with her words in her stories. @henrikedoeswritingsometimes had me at hello with their timeloop story. I freaking love time loop stories. More please.

What is your favorite part about writeblr?

Community? I only see positivity on here tbh. Though I have not wondered across the corners of the writeblr universe. So maybe its just that my little bubble is very cozy.

What do you think writeblr could improve on? How do you think we can go about doing so?

I tried to answer this question many times before - and I honestly don't know.

How do you contribute to the writeblr community? Do you think you could be doing more?

I don't contribute much these days. I wish I could do more. But life wants orherwise.

What kinds of posts do you most like to interact with?

silly posts, event posts, posts with writing references & snippets

What kind of posts do you most like to make?

I used to like sharing my writing snippets and wip intro posts, but soon there was too much pressure to publish more and more. and I just don't write things consistently enough to do that.

Finally, anywhere else online we may be able to find you?

@waysofink on all other socials (that mostly Twitter & tiktok these days)

[destinygoldenstar]

I Don’t Ship These Two. You Have No Proof. *Reaction Compilation Part 1*

(Oh really Golden?)

Ninja dude. And... other dude.

(Man is a gender bent Marinette.)

...when was this released?

Four months after the TD Reboot.

Well this is a remake of a beta, so... yeah. Total Drama said "We're gonna add queer characters to the cast. FIRST queer characters." And this show said "Am I a joke to you?"

I'm gonna call it though, that's gonna go horribly wrong. You date a ninja, you're ASKING for pain. I've watched Ninjago.

(Called it even at the very beginning)

That boy has my thoughts exactly!

***

"I want to talk to her but she scares me a little."

What did she do to you?

"She reminds me a little of my grandmother. How she walks, how she talks... I miss her."

"She's been sick for months and she can't have visitors."

Oh my god...

Is that why he's competing? Medical bills to help her?

Well geez, keep that up and I might actually root for you to win.

"Yeah, she was often cranky, but she was the only one that really understood me."

You on the spectrum?

"Jake... I don't know what to say, but if you need to talk to someone, I'm always here."

D'aaaaawwww 💗

That face.

He was eyeing Tom all of last episode too and I just didn't bring it up.

(👀)

YOU ARE NOT SUBTLE, SIR

***

"I'm really curious what you look like without it."

...

EXCUSE ME?!?! O_O

BOY. YOU JUST MET.

***

THOSE FISH DON'T LOOK SAFE TO EAT

Tom's like "That's funny, all my teammates suddenly died of poison. Oh well, guess I'm in the merge!"

I mean he's a sus ninja hiding shit, he could be a serial killer.

***

"Whatever happened to minding your own business?!"

Okay chill! He was trying to be nice to you!

Come on, he's been a very sweet guy so far and is giving you all a chance. What's there to snap about?

We'll see how well that statement ages. (Thanks for making me paranoid Caleb)

(SPOILERS, IT AGED TERRIBLY)

Plot twist: Jake and Tom are both secretly evil. Tom is a serial killer. Jake was a prominent bully back in high school.

***

"I feel bad for letting the team down..."

"I wish I could do it, but, it's just... hits too close to home."

OH... HONEY.

"I lost my grandfather when I was a kid and I always went with my mom to visit him and leave flowers. That place caused me a lot of anxiety. Now my grandmother's sick and I know it's only a matter of time before... you know..."

My gosh...

Alright. This guy is my best boy for this show.

He got me way too invested in his story.

(AND I STAYED A JAKE STAN THROUGHT THE ENTIRETY OF THE SEASON)

***

"He knew things I didn't want anyone to know."

"I just can't tell anyone about my hobbies, okay?!"

"As long as Grett doesn't tell either of them I should be fine."

Hey Grett. Maybe you should tell Jake something. Just a thought.

...

WAIT I SAID THAT AS A JOKE, HOLD ON-

"For some reason I have the urge to tell Jake something. Huh, wonder who this Golden Voice is."

(You can blame me)

***

"Someone here has been watching you."

"Two people actually. The first is me because I'm currently stalking you. The second is that fruity boy."

***

Oooh, swimming episode!

Tom is STILL in his suit XD

(Jake) "Hey uh, Tom, the sun can't reach you if you're underwater. I don't think you need to be wearing that. You don't want to get your normal clothes wet, right?"

(Tom) "Eh I never found use for a swimsuit anyway! Besides! The sun will dry them up quickly!"

(Jake) "Doesn't that go against what you told us earlier?!"

(Tom) "My relationship with the sun does not concern you! No it's not toxic what are you talking about?!"

But he's not wearing the hoodie anymore! That's an improvement!

I feel like we're gonna get a Tom face reveal at some point, right?

(FORESHADOWING)

***

"I'm already tired of always eating fish."

Yeah, that has to get tedious after awhile, especially if you guys are THAT hungry and have no choice.

I hate seafood. I wouldn't survive.

"What are you craving?"

"Chinese takeout. I always order that at home."

My sibling actually loves Chinese as well... I'm a Mexican person, though.

"There's a restaurant I live near that'll knock your socks off. We should go when this is over."

TOM. Are you... ASKING HIM OUT?!

"Hey, your eyes... they're pretty. I never noticed since you've always got that hood on."

AWWW AND THE RETURNED FLIRT?!

THE BLUSH, OMG

...yeah I kinda hope you kiss now.

This is how you make relationships Total Drama. You meet. You get along. And you be cute.

And I am waiting for this to go horribly wrong cause in shows like this, nobody gets a happy ending.

Except Mike & Zoey I guess.

(WELL THIS AGED POORLY, DIDN'T IT?)

***

Why is Jake the only one cheering and supporting his teammate?

(Because he's a twink in love)

This boy is precious. Look at him. He's PRECIOUS.

***

OMG THE PHONE! I FORGOT

PLEEEAAASSEE tell me they take advantage of this!

ALSO, not even a second into the episode and I already caught the fruity boy staring at a certain someone.

***

Go call your grandma Jake. Tell her how you love her and you're gonna help her with the money.

Maybe this one will be a bit wholesome.

"Hey Shawn!"

"Hey... Jake..."

...

What...?

"What's up? Is everything alright?"

"I'm sorry..."

*I covered my mouth to hold back a gasp*

"A couple of days ago... grandma passed away..."

OH MY GOD NOOOOOOO

*I'm actually upset for him*

Oh my god...

OH MY GOD HE'S CRYING. OH MY GOD.

"Mom told me not to tell you till you came back... but I had to..."

He's still going. Oh my god...

"You're lying..."

"She was conscious for a few hours before she got worse..."

JUST STOP. JUST STOP TALKING.

"She wrote a letter... I'll give it to you when you get back... I'm sorry man..."

JAKE, I'M SO SORRY. THAT'S AWFUL!!

I'm actually hurt as well!

AND THEN TOM COMFORTS HIM?!??! AWWWWW 😢

I thought he was here to help her! I didn't think she was gonna die before he can even get back! That's horrible!

YOU ALL BETTER GIVE HIM VIRTUAL HUGS.

***

"Teal Team I hope you enjoyed your call home!"

BRUH. NO. DON'T EVEN.

(Tom looking at him)

(They're ALWAYS looking at each other)

***

"I don't think Jake's in the mood to run around looking for ingredients."

Thank you Tom. Thank you for being so supportive of him and understanding his situation.

(We love kind and considerate boyfriends)

***

"Jake, how are you? Do you feel better?"

He might still be mourning. Idk what his mental state is after that.

AWWWWWWWWW💗

Now I'm actually giddy. What is wrong with me?! Why are they so great?

(I DON'T SHIP THEM)

Going in, I was expecting Toxic Yaoi just cause of Tom's spy shit, but they're actually so sweet and wholesome and good for each other.

(SOMEONE IN THE WRITERS ROOM FORESAW ME SAYING THIS AND SAID "WANNA BET?")

"I'm here if you need anything."

I can't imagine how it's like for Tom. I don't think he was imagining getting close with someone just cause of the spy profession.

"I like this boy, I want to be around him and help him out."

(And also date and kiss and cuddle with, you know, normal friend stuff)

"Now don't worry about getting us breakfast today, I will get us the usual."

Idk how I like the sound of that tbh. XD

I just imagine Tom coming back and calling everyone to the meal. "BREAKFAST IS READY!!!"

...and it's just char XD

That also implies they work together to prepare meals for the group EVERY DAY. I love that.

(It is my firm head canon that Tom is a SHIT cook)

(Jake is the cook of the two. Tell me I'm wrong.)

No not Grett changing her facial expression from that!

"I smell gay! I didn't ask for that in my coffee this morning!"

(Best girl Grett is homophobic)

***

"Do you like him?"

*Covers mouth to hold back the giddy noise from my mouth*

*Failing*

(I DON'T SHIP THEM)

Oh my god she's actually going there! I did not expect that.

"Uh... maybe. He's just really good as a person towards me and I feel like we're really opening up to each other, you know? It's not that deep... maybe we'd go out for Chinese sometime. Maybe we'd catch a movie together."

"Tom, do you like him?"

"Uh, no?"

Huh?

You're lying. You gotta be lying.

"You always smile when you're talking to him."

"It's just... I like him, but not in that way."

Liar. Your scenes together say otherwise.

(I DO NOT SHIP THEM. AND MY REACTIONS DON'T SUGGEST OTHERWISE IN THE SLIGHTEST.)

"I'm not ready to be in a relationship."

Oh...

Oh is that what it's about... yeah I would understand that.

"Recently... I was in a somewhat toxic relationship and things didn't end well."

OH.

Oh now that makes a lot of sense.

Was it SOMEWHAT toxic, or...?

I'm probably thinking too angsty about it.

"He cheated on me. And... I couldn't get over it."

OH MY GOD HONEY.

Well no shit you wouldn't get over that. That's awful!

Why did he do that?! Why would he want to hurt you like that?!

(Then again everyone wants to hurt Jake, soooooo...)

"Well you're young, unlike me, you still have a lot of time ahead of you."

Yeah... you can find someone better.

Oh shit, Grett...

OH WAIT CAUSE SHE KNOWS TOM IS A SPY, SHE SAW THE NOTES. OH MY GOD I KNOW WHAT SHE'S GONNA DO.

And because of Jake's past experience, he is NOT gonna take it well!

OH NO...

(And so it begins)

***

He really is not subtle, is he?

"I don't want to be in a relationship or push it further, but I didn't say I can't crush!"

Tom's like "Why you pressing your hands like that?"

"I'm a wittle scawed of the bullets..."

***

Oh shit here we go...

"Golden told be awhile back to tell you something very important!"

"Hey Grett. Maybe you should tell Jake something. Just a thought.

...

WAIT I SAID THAT AS A JOKE, HOLD ON-

"For some reason I have the urge to tell Jake something. Huh, wonder who this Golden Voice is.""

DAMMIT ME, I TOLD HER TO SLAY. I DIDN'T SPECIFY WHO TO SLAY.

SLAY PASS MISFIRE

(It's MY fault the ship sank)

"Tom was lying to you. It was Tom who voted for Drew."

Ooooooohhhh god...

I'm like preparing myself for the blowout.

"Because Drew found out his little secret."

"What secret?"

"The whole sun sensitivity story is fake. He lied to you because he's a spy."

*DREAD*

"What are you talking about? Is this a joke?"

*DREAD*

"He's here for work. You mean nothing to him other than a way to blend in more."

*DREAD*

"Come on Jake, Grett has clearly lost it."

IT HURTS BECAUSE SHE'S TELLING THE TRUTH

I'm CONFLICTED. Not my best girls HURTING my best boy!!

What do I do? Do I support her...? I don't know...

OH NO HE'S BACK.... UGH...

At least it's earlier in the season so they have a chance to bounce back... I don't... I don't know...

This is gonna be so ugly. Jake is gonna be HURT.

"I get hurt and traumatized by my ex! I lose my grandma! AND NOW THIS SHIT. I CAN'T CATCH A BREAK!"

(Stop Making Jake Suffer Challenge. Level: IMPOSSIBLE)

"Tom! You're not gonna believe this!"

"Believe what?"

"Grett was saying the strangest things about you!"

"Wh-what did she say?"

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMHHHHH *mouth covered*

"She said you were the one who voted Drew because, get this, he found out you were a spy?!"

NO TOM YOU CAN'T ACT?!?!

I mean I don't think he should lie any further, but...

(You are the worst spy ever)

"I can explain!! It's not what you think!!!"

"Wait what? It's true?!"

"It's not that simple!"

Just hear him out! I can explain EVERYTHING! I know you're upset, but please hear me out!

"Oh my god... it really is! So you're just here for your job!"

"And our friendship, was that just to blend in too?! Did you ever care about me at all?! Was any of it real, HUH?!"

JAKE, HONEY, I'M SO SORRY.

I know you being upset is understandable! It still hurts!

I can imagine what's going through his head though. His loved ones have a habit of either dying or lying to him and hurting him, and now turns out his new crush is a spy?

"Jake, calm down-"

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!"

OH GOD

"I don't owe you anything! It's my life! Step off, Jake!"

DON'T BE LIKE THAT, YOU'RE ALREADY OUTTED!

"Oh EXCUSE ME if I don't want to be part of your 'super cool' spy plan!"

"Can you stop telling the whole goddamn neighborhood?!"

OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH GOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!

And they got shot...

Oh my god, I need a minute to CALM DOWN.

Was that... I mean I know that was a Tom liar reveal, but was that a Jake true personality reveal?!

Is he an asshole?!

Goddammit, he IS an asshole, isn't he? I WAS ROUTING FOR YOU.

(Remember when Jake was just the shy and sweet precious bean cinnamon roll crushing on a guy and the only thing he ever did wrong was kick someone in the nuts? I miss those days)

I'm calming down, I'm calming down...

Tom and Jake are gonna drive me FUCKING. CRAZY.

***

They're STILL pissed.

Miriam is gonna come to me like, "Golden, you're having Toxic Yaoi for dinner tonight."

(I am, indeed, eating Toxic Yaoi and somehow enjoy it. I might be high.)

***

"I don't know if I can trust Tom after betraying the guys alliance..."

FUCK YOUR GUYS ALLIANCE.

THAT'S ALL YOU TALK ABOUT.

And besides, it's screwed.

Tom and Jake divorced.

"I'M STILL ANGRY AT YOU! WHY DO I KEEP LIKING PEOPLE WHO HURT ME?!"

(Jake, word of advice, your problem is that you have a bad taste in men. Too much toxic yaoi ain't good for the heart.)

***

XD

DEAR GOD JAKE.

"THIS IS MY DIVORCE PAPER!"

Dammit, why'd he have to be an asshole, huh?

***

'JAKE'

XD

NO SHOT THEY BOTH THREW JUST CAUSE THEY WERE SO PISSED WITH EACH OTHER

XD

"AND NOW YOU VOTE FOR ME?! WHAT'D YOU SAY TO ME?!"

(They both signed divorce papers)

(And later, despite Tom having voted Jake before, he gets pissed when Jake votes Tom. I smell hypocrisy.)

***

OH NO HE POSTED IT?!?!?!

OH THAT'S BAD...

Oh god, that's gonna be bad for Tom's mission, isn't it? Whatever it is he's doing.

I mean lets be honest though... that post isn't Jake's fault. How's he supposed to know that would happen?

NOT ME DEFENDING JAKE AFTER THAT-

(Actually, YEAH, now that I think about it. HOW is Tom getting fired Jake's fault exactly? They're on LIVE TV. And Grett already said the S word aloud before Jake ever did. So TECHNICALLY that's Grett's fault Tom got fired. Not Jake's.)

Ugh... I had a gut feeling though, cause I saw people HATING Jake's character and calling him the worst.

HE'S AN ASSHOLE, NOOOOOOO...

Okay, BUT, I don't hate him. Surprisingly enough.

I'm actually intrigued by his character a lot more now.

I thought he was gonna be the precious bean. The sweetest character. But no, he's petty and impulsive.

I HAVE to give credit though, this is NOT something that came out of nowhere for me. He did snap at Nick in Episode 4 for stubbing his toe, and they established this episode more of Jake's past to add more context to his POV.

So he was in a toxic relationship before and got betrayed by it. That makes perfect sense to me. I understand why he'd be pissed. Tom lied to him.

But he DEFINATELY overreacted towards it. It's one thing to yell at the heat of the moment, it's another to vote for him just because you're pissed.

So, yeah, I'm not excusing his behavior, I'm just understanding WHY.

"OH NO! A character is revealed to have FLAWS. And said flaws made things worse for other people! Well clearly I hate them now!!"

I'm not doing that.

I'm just not that kinda person in how I view media. I don't hate characters just because they have flaws. When you're watching Total Drama, you gotta have that mindset too. Cause in that show, there's A LOT of characters that do screwed up things and it's wrong. So I'm used to it.

If anything, I guess Jake being revealed to have negative traits makes him a lot more interesting now. Cause yeah, I've been there. It sucks. Well, I wasn't in a toxic romantic relationship, but a toxic friendship when I was younger. It lasted for years so it left me pretty distasteful to the people around me and everyone hated me for... acting like Jake did here, honestly. How bout that?

Him and Tom are gonna BREAK ME, I can tell.

(CORRECT)

At least the lie is outed earlier in the season, so it's not as bad as it could've been...?

Like, it would've been a lot uglier later and it resulted in one of them getting voted off.

(FORESHADOWING)

But at least they can work this out, right? Cool off, come clean, and repair the damage. Then go out for Chinese Food and hang out by the lake. Everything will be fine. They'll get their Chinese date. IT'LL ALL BE FINE.

...god, looks like I'm having Toxic Yaoi for dinner tonight.

(YES. YES I AM. I'M IN DENIAL.)

I DON'T SHIP THEM AND YOU HAVE NO PROOF

Continued In Part 2 Of The Lack Of Proof>>

[blackjackkent]

Everyone loves a good camp fight.

Sadly, no one else in camp came to help fight the spawn except the current main party (and Astarion, obviously). On the bright side, this is apparently counted as before the long rest, so Hector still had his cloud giant potion up and could absolutely wreck face.

Highly entertained by Astarion's combat, which was AI controlled while the rest of the party was under my control. When it came around to his turn, Astarion wandered over to Hector, cast Invisibility on him despite both of them being DIRECTLY in front of one of the spawn, then moseyed on behind said spawn, tried to hit it with Flourish as a bonus action, missed, wandered away and was smacked by two different opportunity attacks, and then watched as the spawn cast Sense Hidden Presence and knocked Hector right back out of invisiblity.

Phenomenal. Stunning. 10/10 no notes.

Unsurprisingly, all of the spawns vanished into gas clouds and drifted away when they were "killed" so presumably we'll see them again later. (And, probably, they'll tell Cazador that we're coming and planning to kick his ass, but I can't imagine he hasn't guessed that already anyway.)

At the end of the fight, I tried four times to arrange everyone in positions such that Hector would get the post-fight conversation with Astarion; I put him closest to Astarion, I put him farthest away, I made sure Hector was getting the last hit on his turn, but no matter what I did, Astarion would ONLY talk to Karlach for this conversation and I couldn't figure out how to convince him otherwise.

I mean I don't blame him, because Karlach is great, but I would like my player character to have the conversations please. XD

That said - this turned out to be a strangely poignant interaction just because it ended up being these two characters specifically.

I'm going to go with the explanation that Hector darted off to do a perimeter sweep of the camp with Minsc and Jaheira and make sure there were no other lurking spawn hanging about, and Karlach (because she is a sweetheart) hung out with Astarion to make sure he was okay.

"What a mess. Well, at least you've met my family now."

He's smiling slightly, offhandedly, as if it doesn't matter, but it's not fooling anyone, least of all Karlach, who is a master herself at laughing jocularly at terrible situations she is stuck in.

"Was it true what they said? That you gave up fighting him long ago?"

It occurs to me that Karlach can relate to that too. Ten years she spent in Zariel's employ (not long for a vampire, but very long for a living tiefling), and there must have come a point where she realized that trying to resist was pointless and doing what was necessary to survive was the only thing left to her (at least until the beacon of hope that was the nautiloid came crashing through the Hells).

Astarion, however, recoils - clearly taking it as a criticism, a condemnation.

"You don't know what it was like," he snarls. "There was no way out! Once--" His voice cracks abruptly, and he stops and has to take a breath before he can continue. "In my first decade of slavery, I found a... darling boy, who I couldn't bear to bring back to him." He swallows. "So I ran, instead of hurting that... sweet man..."

His voice is thick with the memory, with pain and grief and fear overlaid on themselves across centuries.

"After Cazador caught me, the bastard sealed me, starving, inside a dusty tomb, all on my own... for an entire year."

"A year of silence. Months of scratching my hands raw, trying to carve my way out. More months of not moving at all. Months wishing only for death."

His mouth tightens - whether with anger or tears or both, it's hard to tell.

"So don't you ever judge me for doing what Cazador ordered."

(A/N: Someone bring Neil Newbon back and give him another award please.)

Karlach had the saddest fucking expression on her face through this whole little speech. Perhaps she considers telling him what she went through in return. How Zariel had her trapped in a war she wanted no part of, killing people she had no quarrel with. How sometimes she considered running away but had nowhere to go; how disobedience meant punishment - sometimes of a military sort and sometimes far more personal. How she understands about doing what is necessary to survive, about being trapped in another's cruelty.

But all she says is, "I have no words. I'm so sorry."

He notices none of the nuance of her response; his expression is twisted in rage at the memories, an anger that is trying to blot out the thickness of tears audible in his voice. "Nothing can make up for that," he mutters hoarsely. "Not even Cazador's death."

Without waiting for a response, he turns and walks away.

[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 98 - mowing the lawn

Glad that at least Tim and Martin are kind of alright together.

Elias wanting Martin to continue reading statements really is super suspicious for the BackupArchivist!Martin theory.

MARTIN "He did suggest I try to get you involved and –" - God, my boss is like this and I hate it… Pushing the task of telling my colleagues what to do onto me. It's not my job to do that, I don't even think it's my place to do that. But if I don't, the work gets stuck on me…

TIM [Sigh] "Look, have you talked to Jon about them?" - Aw, that's so cute. I'm sure at this point Tim totally knows about Martin's crush. Must have happened some time after he thought Jon's seeing Basira?

TIM [Grunts] "Kind of. We tried to talk, but he, he reached for that – Ah, he, he wanted to turn on his recorder. I freaked out a bit" - Also good to see that Jon and Tim at least tried to talk. Wonder why Jon wanted to turn on the tape recorder though…

MARTIN "Yeah, we talked. Not long, he – Y’know, I think he thinks that the distance keeps us safe, you know? Like, like, if he just makes sure that we’re not involved, we’re somehow fine." TIM "He’s an idiot. Look, we didn’t know what that door was, and it still trapped us. Ignorance isn’t going to save anyone." - I mean, Jon is a bit of an idiot [affectionately]. But I don't think that's what Tim meant here?

MARTIN "No, I mean, you’re right, I guess. He was… Y’know, we know about Sasha now, and… he said he doesn’t want to lose anyone else. Like, y’know, it’s his fault." TIM "Isn’t it?" MARTIN "No! No, it isn’t! I mean, you heard Elias… We never really stood a chance." TIM "Yeah. Maybe. But Elias wasn’t actually the one who offered me the job down here." - OFFERED! And YOU TOOK IT. This is a really unhealthy mindset, constantly blaming others, especially for things that are just so out of everybody's hands. I know, Tim's mental health is too far gone at that point to realize this and Jon is an easy target since he was actually very guilty of stalking Tim.

MARTIN "No, I – Sure." - Martin realized there is no possible way of convincing Tim otherwise even when providing him with objective information. Tim has a certain mindset and won't deviate from this so easily. This is also why the deficit model for science communication won't work for a lot of people. The problem roots in cognition.

Hehehe Martin talking to tape recorders as if they are pets xD Does this also count as part of Web!Martin?

"It was an oilskin packet of documents, supposedly from the log-books of Franklin’s lost ship, the HMS Terror." - OMG how have I never noticed this until now (I mean, I know why, because it's an old-ass statement and I always have a hard time following them). By that I mean the mention of the HMS Terror.

"It was a German tome titled Die Nachtstücke" - Almost, Alex. ST in German is pronounced SHT. But he managed the CH and Ü, so props to him.

"and contained several morbid tales by a man named Hoffman." - God, I almost didn't recognize the name. Nobody here just says "Hoffman", it's always E.T.A. Hoffman. I never read any of his works, though someone in my class did a presentation of Das Fräulein von Scuderi. The Cardillac Syndrom described in it always spoke to me (just not to THAT extent xD)

"Far from the comforting friend of children he is so often portrayed as, he was rendered as quite the monster." - tbh, a lot those old German folk or fairytales (for children) were quite brutal and scary. I knew of the Sandman as both as a kid, of this benevolent little being as well as the one punishing kids with their sand until their eyes bled. Thought it was cool.

MARTIN "I wish Jon kept better organised notes because I know he’s mentioned someone called Maxwell Rayner, but I cannot find much in the way of any info –" - I love how both of them complain about the other one's working style xD Interesting, that we now got the information that Rayner seems to be old af.

Hm, is it a coincidence that Martin and Melanie talking about recording statements when he just did one of the Dark and Melanie also did one of the Dark?

MELANIE "Al-Although I was just going to have a talk with Elias, so, uh, maybe I can convince him to cut you some slack." - That's very nice of Melanie. Though I believe she thought they would be rid of Elias in about an hour XD

MELANIE "Right. Fair. Listen, you really look like you could use a drink. Um, me and Basira were just about to pop out. So… do you want to join us?" - Also very nice of her. Glad to see that the archival team sticks a bit more together here.

ELIAS [Chuckles slightly] "I don’t know everything, Melanie. Do you know how exhausting that would be?" - Slight nod to the state he'll be in after the Change? Or how much it's also gonna be a strain on Jon.

ELIAS "Let’s have no more clumsy assassination attempts, alright?" - So, is he alright with not-clumsy assassination attempts? XD

All the Archival assistants are going through a hard time this season. Melanie especially in this episode.

[hanako-san]

all my posts about Daikon where I criticize her or hate her - Just read them if you want why

This post is being created so that I can simply copy it when the time comes for daikon. Honestly, I'm not going to make excuses for my hatred towards her. But I decided to do it because in the end I get one and the same thing. This post will be long because I wanted to write it when I finish a certain stage, and that's exactly what happened and I think this post is necessary and thanks to this I won't repeat myself when the time comes.

Daikon is hated, which is an unusual phenomenon apparently in this fandom, especially here. Actually, it's not surprising because I've never once seen a daikon being hated or anyone complaining about her actions and deeds. Only sympathy and all hatred for this 'evil' Hanako, making her a victim.

Yes, this 'sweet, perfect, charming, beauty' yashiro nene has haters or people who just don't like her, not only this 'evil' Hanako.I am one of them. I'm really not ashamed to admit it.

1) As Hanako Stan, I have no obligation to love the daikon and this ship. Why? Hanako isn't the reason I hate her. I know this fandom likes blames everything on Hanako and not the daikon, but it doesn't work that way. I'm not denying it, I hate her, I'm literally disgusted by the way she treats Hanako, but that's just one of many reasons for my hatred, and Hanako is just a factor in my hatred growing, but she doesn't really have anything to say about it. It's convenient to blame Hanako for this, but not this time. Take Hanako out of history and my hatred will remain with me. Why? Since the only person who arouses such strong contempt and hatred in her and literally disgusts me, and I hate her to my core, the person responsible for my such strong hatred is Yashiro nene aka daikon. Surprised? Because I don't. My hatred came with time. I used to love her and this ship, but there are things about her that really piss me off, and I'll give those reasons later when I finish everything I have to say. I changed my mind because I can't tolerate her behavior. I don't care about her personality and age, these are not enough reasons to give any pass, I don't feel sorry for her because she is a "naive girl". You can't count on my sympathy. I'm cold and ruthless towards her, but Hanako has nothing to do with it, so this "no one forces me to hate nene" is not true, the only person who forces me is yahsiro nene. Therefore as Hanako I have no obligation to love her, just because he loves her doesn't mean I should too. It doesn't work that way. I will not be nicer to her because she is a girl, because of her character or age.

There is absolutely no point in blaming Hanako for my hatred. It's time to look in the face and realize that it's time to put the blame on yashiro. Her cheerful, loving and naive nature doesn't appeal to me. It's funny to me that daikon stans have a problem with my hatred and daikon stans also contributed to the explosion of my hatred. so FTW XD

2) What Hanako did and what I think. This is my private matter. I don't need to be reminded of what he's doing because I know it and I completely accept it, whether I like his actions or not. Hanako always He has no problem apologizing, he takes full responsibility for what he does ,again has no problem admitting guilt, and I'm proud of him. He does something consciously, knowing that he is doing something wrong, but he KNOWS it and will not hesitate to do it. He's not a coward and that's why I admire him. He is not morally pure and has his flaws, but he completely agrees with that. Whether I like his actions or not is entirely up to me. I will support him no matter what I think because he deserves it. I understand why he does it and I don't think he's selfish, his actions are not selfish, it's complete bullshit, he always does something with someone he loves in mind, but I've written so many posts on this topic that you can really just go through it to find these posts. I wrote the last one a few months ago and I really don't intend to repeat it here - for me it's a closed topic. The only person who is selfish is me, because I only care about HIM, his feelings, making him happy, etc., I only pay attention to him and I will stand by his side. Hanako is important to me here, he is my number one and I will take care of him first and it's high time for it to be talked about. Just because I don't criticize him for his actions doesn't mean I don't have negative thoughts about his actions, but I do. I completely ignore it and don't care. I'm here to support this boy and I have no intention of stopping, no matter what I think. I'll support him, okay? And I know perfectly well what he did and I really don't need to be reminded. I think turning a cat's tail to whiten a daikon is pathetic. She also has bad deeds, and the narrative describes her attempts to whitewash her for her sins, but this will never happen. She also considers herself innocent, but that doesn't mean she is. She's guilty as hell there! But no one has ever done what I did and started pointing out at her, expressing hatred and venting about it. Everything went to Hanako. The fact that Hanako is also complicit in certain actions does not mean that the daikon is pure as a whistle, because she is just as guilty as he is, the fact that she is ignorant and does not listen is none of my business. I'm not going to put all the blame on him when I don't think so and I know he's not entirely to blame for the daikon's actions. Just because she's 'naive, sweet, amorous' doesn't mean you can let her do anything and ignore her because that's who she is. That's not how it works. She did a lot of bad actions and deeds before and she still does them and there is no problem and turning everything back on Hanako won't help. It's time to understand this. I've said it so many times and this is the last time I say it.

3) daikon and Hanako's relationship is one big joke. The more I re-read in English or in my language, the more I become convinced of it. I see these changes in daikon, but what's the point if they are only temporary. I won't tolerate her trampling on him and her 'love'. jokes. They shouldn't be together and I've been thinking about it since p.p. arc. I gave her enough chances that she didn't deserve and that's enough. My tolerance and kindness also have limits. Just because they are canon doesn't mean it's a good ship, as AR wants to show. Her care for him. If she was like that, she wouldn't rely on him all the time, she would start listening to him and stop blaming him for a lot of things that were her fault, but she never once apologized to him, and when she did, it was disingenuous because she went back to that behavior. She was too used to Hanako taking everything upon herself, which ultimately made her innocent. She can't even respect Hanako. And I really don't care about her temporary changes where the AR for the plot will show that she 'loves' him when later it is the way it is. I'm tired of waiting, it's over 100 chapters. Enough already!

4) It's none of my business if I frustrate or scare anyone with what I do with daikon. Seriously, not mine. Am I mean and rude? I do not care about it. I also had to go through my hell when I silently hated daikon and was indifferent to it. Writing such things is pointless and I don't know what the purpose is, arouse some sympathy in me that my posts hurt someone? Stop manipulating me with your hurts feelings in any way, it's pathetic. I don't care about it.

WHY I HATE DAIKON - POST IS HERE

others posts - X, X,X,X,X,X and my FIRST POST is HERE

I often repeat myself in posts, and in the newest one at the top I added many of my thoughts. complementing the thoughts I said earlier, like n that I don't think Hanako is selfish because this witch wants to live. These posts are enough to send a clear signal that I despise her to the core.

Finally, I consider her and my hatred to be over. When I want to write something about her, now what I have done is enough. If someone still doesn't understand, it's not my problem. This collection of posts about ' the queen of innocence' will be on my blog in links.

[the-kings-of-games]

How about Aki for the ask game?

Hi, @insomniac-jay. Thanks for asking! :)

How I feel about this character: I tried to give as much of a luekwarm response as I can, but I think I might have failed and this got way too long to be considered "lukewarm."

So, I like Azkia, but outside of the anime, she doesn't really interest me much. I think trauma makes the character, but I'm not into it very much when it's what all defines the character, which tends to be something a lot of people like to do. Which is fine, but persoanlly, it's why I don't read/look into a lot of Akiza stuff. A lot of time, I think people like the idea of her more than anything, and I don't blame them—big tiddied goth girl is banger. It's just that it doesn't hold me for long; I'm not the kind who latches onto a characters because they're "girl." (The only two genders that matter to me is "dumb" and "ass," and if they're both, my gods. xD) I'm just unimpressed if anything, lmao.

Idk, Akiza can be really fun, but she is kinda forced to carry so much baggage in every iteration. Like she's always going to play the sad, isolated child that lashes out and is called as a monster, only seen for what she is when this one person comes along, and that's just the story of her life. It feels very . . . limiting imo. Can't she be okay sometimes? And like when she's made to be independent and strong, what does that really add? She is strong, but like, so is everyone else who tries. That being said, it's not like being weak is a bad thing; it's the exeuction that matters.

How I feel about Akiza is kinda my fault too, though. I don't know really know what to do with her in my writing, so I don't really write her often. I don't relate to her at all, and nor do I go gaga over her character design, so there's not much I can do with her that doesn't come off as disingenuous.

As a fan of shōnen, I say it's a lot to expect shōnen to care about writing good female characters, and that can be said about early YGO, a shōnen meant to advertise a card game to little kids, namely boys. The genre itself still needs work, but for anyone wanting good female characters in YGO who also duel, try the newer series, SEVENS and GO RUSH. They're much shorter than the previous YGO series, but they do so good in both having and writing female characters who aren't limited by the tropes they're written into. (Everyone is sleeping on Princess G.)

All the people I ship romantically with this character: No one really. I think she should have her own thing.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Crow. Sherry. When you duel together, you get tight together.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I like that Akiza wants to become a doctor. It's unexpected, but she's finally doing her own thing. One thing I noticed in the anime is that Akiza's life is practically surrounded by Team 5D's, even when she goes back to school. She isn't shown to have her own friends? Which is whack because she's cute and smart and cool? Also, she's rich. Like, come on, someone's got to talk to her in class, even if it's just friendly conversation.

So, her choosing to become a doctor and not a duelist is kinda refreshing. People go, "Oh, a girl and a duelist? She's got to be a female duelist," but like, guys, women in YGO are the only ones who's got the interesting career choices from dancer (Tea) to Secretary General of Egypt (Isis) to reporter (Carly, Kari) to idol (Princess G); now they get a doctor in their line-up. Nice. But it's not like she can't be both though. OwO Why not both? Maybe she goes back into competitive Turbo dueling after med school. That's pretty realistic.

Also, I'm not mad that she "loses" her psychic powers. It made her different, but it didn't make her happy as far as I can see. It simultaenously isolated her (from peers and family) and put her on a pedastal in the worst way (Arcadia). Like she used her psychic powers more often than not to push people away because she was afraid of rejection; from what it seems, she only really knows how to use it to do so. So in my head, she unconciously supresses/lessens her use of her powers once she starts opening up again because she has people to truly rely on.

It goes in the line that just because you have it, it doesn't meant you have to use, like drawing and writing and any other hobby or talent.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I would loved to see Akiza be a regular teenage girl. I want her to have friends and they can go to the mall or the library or loiter at the park, whatever. Just anything that shows that she is also enjoying life like everyone else. Why did they give her her own friends? QWQ Even the twins got their own set of friends, like what?

Send me an ask! 👀 I've watched all the series.

[shamelesslymkp]

Sending as an ask since tumblr won't let me @ you and so that post doesn't get even longer - - don't worry, your tags are actually funny instead of insulting. I use it/its pronouns /because/ they aren't normally used for humans, so it's meant to be challenging people's idea of what a makes a person a person. Funnily enough, I was using it/its pronouns long before I even heard of Murderbot, let alone knew it also used it/its pronouns, which I think is hilariously ironic.

As for my response, it was mostly because a lot of other people in the fandom like to either explicitly or subtly victim blame me and say that because I get so upset about people being purposeful bigots, that's why people are being bigots in the first place. Even though most of time time I make a post where I'm angry, I'm not actually reblogging from anyone directly, I'm explaining what is being done wrong and why it's wrong. This time I reblogged the post directly because it was so infuriating I could not let it stand there by itself without any correction.

And funnily (ironically) enough, before I saw that post, I saw another post by the same person where "he" was used for Murderbot. So I reblogged it with my usual polite copy and pasted correction of, literally, "Just so you know, Murderbot's pronouns are it/its, not he/him! :)"

And the purposefully misgendering post was made yesterday too, and at this point I can't tell with the timestamps if it was made before or after I corrected the first post that looked like an honest mistake.

As for not seeing people misgendering Murderbot, if you have people blocked already, their posts won't show up in the tags, and also tumblr's tagging system doesn't show everyone the same posts even if they're all tagged as the exact same thing, so it might just be sheer luck that you are not seeing the posts, or just the timing being off.

I also tend to make a lot of posts at once when I see people doing this, so that shoves the offending posts deeper into the pile and makes them harder to find, so that might also be why you don't see them.

Also, some of these people strategically make their bigotry hard to find, by only leaving exorsexist (bigotry against nonbinary people, for the record) comments on replies, rather than reblogs or original posts, so that no one looking at their blog will see the horrible things they're saying. It is unfortunately a very common tactic with bigots that I've had to deal with across multiple fandoms now, and bigots in general.

Usually if someone is being a bigot in the replies, it means that's almost the only way they ever interact with posts, because it means only people who go into the replies on that specific post will see what they're saying, with no blog filled with evidence to hold against them.

Anyways, thank you for standing up for people who use it/its pronouns.

ahh yeah that makes sense! and I'm glad my tags were funny and not insulting xD

(also, thanks for defining exorsexist! I had intuited most of the definition from context but I wasn't sure if I'd gotten the nuance right)

I have to go prep for D&D now but I'm glad we were able to talk like this!

I'm publishing this response actually because you made a really important point that makes sense but hadn't particularly occurred to me before and might not to others:

some of these people strategically make their bigotry hard to find, by only leaving exorsexist (bigotry against nonbinary people, for the record) comments on replies, rather than reblogs or original posts, so that no one looking at their blog will see the horrible things they're saying.

and

Usually if someone is being a bigot in the replies, it means that's almost the only way they ever interact with posts, because it means only people who go into the replies on that specific post will see what they're saying, with no blog filled with evidence to hold against them.

I'm going to have to remember that, that's an important thing to keep in mind!

[queenharumiura]

Neo, please, try your Yamamoto after he and Squaletta started kissing after few drinks and chemistry between them was unbearable. (Sorry, I am still stuck in our Yes or No thing where I think about them in romantic way XD I would be interested in his thoughts and emotions and everything. ♥️)

[Neo Game Time] || @squaletta Requested character: Yamamoto Kekek the game was for a muse I don't already write, but this is a creative way of using the game, so I accept it

Note: things may not be accurate and vague considering there is the added factor of Squaletta being added into the mix. I did my best because I didn't want to godmod too much or anything.

-

Yamamoto didn’t know about her tolerance, but he knew that his tolerance wasn’t so bad. He wouldn’t say he necessarily enjoyed drinking, but he didn’t hate it either. He wasn’t a lightweight, that’s for sure, and he rarely ever drank enough that it severely impacted his cognitive abilities. Maybe enough so it lightened him up some, but that was usually the extent of it.

Today was one of those moments, where a bunch of people had gathered around for some celebration, and he had gone out to the balcony to get some fresh air. The feeling of the night breeze against his skin was refreshing. He didn’t notice that someone was already on the balcony until she spoke up.

Naturally, he settled in next to her on the balcony, looking up at the stars. The rest of the party-goers inside were getting too chaotic and the vice-commander needed a break from it all. Just for a bit, it seemed. After seeing just how wild some of the Varia officers were being… anyone could understand her plight.

It was peaceful standing side by side enjoying the company of the other underneath the starlight, offering idle chatter with each other. They exchanged pleasantries earlier, complimenting how the other looked tonight. It was a formal occasion, so they did have to dress nice—but any swordsman or swordswoman would be remiss to attend an event and not account for the possibility of an attack. They of course wore something that looked nice but would be practical enough IF anything were to happen.

In the middle of their conversation, “huh? Where did Yamamoto go? Has anyone seen him?” Hearing his name, Yamamoto’s attention was piqued. About to turn back into the event hall, he stopped when he felt a tug on his arm. Squaletta pulled him deeper into the corner of the balcony, out of sight. No one would see them unless they walked out into the balcony and looked in the corner. As (un)luck would have it, someone did step out into the balcony and turned her head to the side. “Oh-”

With being caught off guard from being pulled, Yamamoto stumbled, and he had to push out his arm to stabilize his footing. How this looked to the onlooker who had just witnessed them? “Hahi… the fabled ‘kabedon’…” She quietly whispered to herself. Turning around, “No one on the balcony! Maybe he’s gone to the restroom? Has anyone checked there?” Don’t you worry! Haru isn’t a snitch and she won’t let the others interrupt your moment! (OuO)b

Looking down at Squaletta, who he’d accidentally caged with his larger physique. For a moment (he’d blame the alcohol), he lost himself in admiring the way the starlight shone against her skin, especially her lips. Her eyes were pretty too, and it wasn’t to say that he just found the color of them pretty. He always liked how her eyes always sparkled with confidence, with a fire full of aspiration danced, drawing in anyone who had a similar penchant for constant self-improvement. That was something he respected about her, her constant drive to be better. She-

Squaletta moved, and that’s when he quickly realized he’d been staring at her for too long. Knowing that Squaletta appreciated her space, he’d quickly took a few steps back.

“Haha, sorry ‘bout tha-”

Before he knew it, a pair of lips come onto his own, and the feeling of something tugging on the front of his suit brought him out of his stupor. Brown eyes, initially stupefied, gained a light of understanding. Yes, it was surprising, sure, but… it felt right, somehow? A bit impulsive, but where’s the harm in that, right?

Lips parted, and he let his instincts guide him as his arm wrapped around the small of Squaletta’s back to bring their lips together once more. A hand caressed her cheek gently before playing with her soft hair. He’d loved the way her hair looked, especially in the midst of battle. The way it danced in the breeze was mesmerizing.

Lips parted just briefly, for just enough time for them to catch their breath before their lips came together once more like magnets desperately trying to attract the other again. For now, the only two people who existed where the both of them. No one else mattered.

-

How willing am I to pick up character: I already have so-- lol

Other notes: Mmmmnnn due to the fact that this is a muse that I already picked up, I won't go through the thing where I explain where I got some of my inspo and such. Those secrets are staying with me fufufu. Also read as: I'm lazy. You're free to ask me on discord tho if you've any specific questions!